The Humunculus Horror
by AMALGAMATIN
Summary: Ed and Winry are lost in the middle of a vast desert with no provisions of any kind, chased by a monstrous animal with an intent to kill, and hunted by one of the most deadly creatures in existence. A day in the life of the Fullmetal Alchemist.


"To obtain, something of equal value must be lost…" Edward Elric stared nervously at the monster that was stampeding towards them. "Winry, that's alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. Do you understand?"

With that, he slapped his hands together, recited the compounds and elements he would have to use to obtain an equal exchange in about two seconds inside his head, then quickly placed his palms onto the sandy ground. A battering ram popped into existence and stood in the way of the beast.

For a moment Edward believed it would stop the monster – he named it Bob – and even kill it, but Bob swiped a paw and made the ram fly through the air.

When it hit the ground, it broke.

Ed yelped like he'd been stung, took Winry's hand, ignoring her incredulous expressions at his audacity, and ran. "Winry! Are you sure that Resembool is this way?"

Winry hit him on the head with her wrench.

"First of all, a man asks for a woman's hand. He does not just take it." A pause. "Second of all, why on earth would you kidnap me and try to cook a huge beast as a present? How is that a good idea?" She grew angrier and angrier until Ed thought he might be more scared of Winry killing him than he would be of Bob. "And THIRD, why on EARTH would you question my sense of direction! I'm like a freaking GPS! I know what I am doing, Ed, so if you could just be quiet and kill this thing with alchemy and without lecturing me on alchemy, that would be great. You know what, I might even be able to find our way home."

Edward stuttered at first, but he eventually regained his ability of speech. But the only thing that came out of his mouth was, "Where did you even get a wrench from? Do you have some sort of utility belt like Batman?"

A horn slashed at the sand they were running on before Winry could reply, almost cutting off Edward's leg.

Edward glanced around as they tried to escape, searching for some sort of refuge they could seek to survive. The situation seemed to be growing bleak. As they passed, the desert seemed to grow bigger and bigger, swallowing them with its gigantic mouth that stretched for miles. There _was_ no escape.

Ed scratched his head, then sighed. He let go of Winry's hand.

She stopped. "Come ON, Ed. Even you are able to run at a competent speed for a respectable time. Hurry up." She was poking his chest with a bolt. "You shouldn't make a lady wait."

Edward replied morosely. "I also shouldn't let a lady die."

Winry looked at him, seeing him for the first time. "Don't be so morbid."

The beast was approaching rapidly.

Winry ran a few more feet, glanced back, realized her friend wasn't following her, and stopped again. As she turned around, she saw Edward settle into an offensive stance. He transmuted his automail. Winry could only see a crackle of blue lightning erupt from Ed's front, sizzling and writhing like a multitude of snakes. It soon subsided, leaving Ed with sharp weapon in the form of an automail sword.

But what that really help?

Ed was a gifted alchemist and he had faced many wild animals before, but not one of this much strength and fortitude. Bob had been chasing them for a week, never tiring or slowing down even the slightest. It also seemed to be intelligent in addition to being powerful. Ed had led it in circles with false trails leading in misleading directions, yet it still had caught up with them. Ed could only hope that Winry could run fast enough to get away. He had to stall for time.

Clapping his hands, he brought them to the ground and transmuted the ground ten feet away from the monster and in between them both. The sand before Bob sunk into the ground and created a horizontal, deep pit, big enough to fit a truck in.

Ed smiled grimly as he got to his feet and readied his sword. _At the speed it's going, it has no hope of stopping. I'll also have a better chance of finishing it off if it suffers an injury_, he thought.

It didn't stop.

Ed gasped as it leapt over the pit with startling grace.

Bounded towards Edward.

And was then promptly smashed into oblivion.

It soared away, skipping across the sand from the frightening velocity, then hit the sand eighty kilometers away. Ed blinked in surprise. The sweat in his hair dripped down his face slowly.

Its body parts littered the sandy floor, and red tinged the ground. Bob hadn't the chance to react. A small boy stood with his elbow out in the space Bob had been moments before. Edward was puzzled, as the boy had not been there a second earlier.

Then it dawned on him: that small boy was the one who had the strength to send Bob flying, the one who had muscles in his elbow alone that could kill that giant beast with ease. The boy lifted his head, paying no attention to the intimidating monster he had just destroyed, and smirked at Ed. From afar, Edward noticed that the boy had pointed teeth that gleamed menacingly, and for once in his life, he felt a little afraid.

Ed finally noticed the boy yelling at him. He didn't step forward to hear better, not wanting to get closer to the strange child, but he did strain his ears. What he heard was interesting, to say the least.

"-so before I, Envy, kill you, Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist, I would like to know if you have any last words." Stopping and then continuing again before Ed could open his mouth, the boy who he now knew as Envy said, "Very well. I will now proceed to execute you if you do not come with me." Envy lapsed into a low shout that Ed could barely hear, "But I hope you choose not to come of your own free will. I haven't been allowed to fight an alchemist in a century."

"Why would I come with you?" Edward yelled so Envy could hear. Then he blinked.

When his eyes opened, he frowned, eyebrows coming together. The boy was gone. In his place was a lanky teenager with strange attire consisting of a black skirt and shirt, sporting green hair that tapered into points.

_Where did he go? We weren't finished…or is this the same person? That's not possible. No human could transmute their entire body safely and remain in such good shape as this teenager._

The odd teenager smiled. It was then that Edward noticed the sharp teeth. _He's!_

The Fullmetal Alchemist didn't have time to complete his train of thought. Envy ran towards Ed at full speed. Ed transmuted the ground amidst flashes of blue lightning. It slowly rose, then increased its speed until the sand hardened and formed a small mountain that was headed for Envy even as Ed ran along the side of it and launched himself towards Envy's unsuspecting back. Lashing out with his sword, he smiled. That smile quickly faded when Envy caught the sword with one hand without the use of his eyes.

Envy glanced back at Ed, allowing him to realize the gravity of the situation, sneered, then broke Ed's automail sword in half.

Roaring, Ed transmuted his arm again, unleashing lightning, and swung. Envy's arm batted it away, leaving Edward vulnerable to an attack. Envy pulled back his other arm and punched Ed.

At the last possible second, Edward blocked it with his hand.

Instead of becoming frustrated, Envy smiled.

A bold, hard pain shot through Ed's chest at that very moment, and as he tried to clutch the body part, found that his hand could not move. Moving his eyes away from Envy's, he looked down to see Envy's sinewy arm sticking out of his chest, straight through his own heart. While Ed was distracted, Envy had attacked him with his other arm.

Ed died before Envy even pulled out his arm.


End file.
